Do you find that you ejaculate before you want to?
Does premature ejaculation affect your sexual performance and your relationships?
These are the kind of questions that a sex therapist will ask men who make contact complaining of premature ejaculation (PE).
PE is probably the most common sexual problem affecting men. It can occur at all ages. Most young men at the start of their sexual lives may experience ‘coming too quickly’; this is completely normal and not a cause for concern. Often this is to do with the excitement and maybe fear of new sexual experiences rather than a deeper problem. One way of coping is to practice using condoms when masturbating: this will help give confidence when one needs to use them with a partner – and of course that will help keep you and your partner ‘safe’.
PE can be something that a man has always experienced, it may occur occasionally over a long period of time, or it can be situational – for example if he is not enjoying the particular sexual experience or if he is feeling stressed.
One of the other questions that a sex therapist will ask is how long it takes from the time of penetration before ejaculation occurs: the technical term for this is intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT). Of course other factors need to be considered, as some women/men may find rapid ejaculation to be very sexually exciting.
Alas this is not always the case and many men find that premature ejaculation has caused distress and frustration with detrimental effect on their quality of life – and for some it even prevents them building long term intimate relationships.
What can be done about it?
Sex and relationship therapy can help, by identifying and resolving any underlying problems, and by teaching techniques such as the “squeeze technique”, the “stop–start method” and pelvic floor exercises (see above). These techniques involve improving body-mind connections, a key factor in tackling PE. and working with you and your partner together in order to resolve the problem, the success rate is high.
In addition there are desensitizing sprays and certain drugs, which may help some people. To date there is no Viagra like drug for PE but research is being undertaken in this area.